


Bodhi - Let him rest

by Munnin



Series: Rogue One Cycle [17]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Grieving, M/M, Panic Attacks, mentions of established relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 20:11:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9088672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munnin/pseuds/Munnin
Summary: On the flight from Eadu to Yavin 4, exhaustion and grief get the better of Bodhi. Thankfully he's not alone.





	

Bodhi did his best to step around the sleeping Baze. The heavy had stretched out on the deck-plates, still fully armoured and snoozing.

Bodhi envied him that. The peace. The ability to just switch off. Even with K-2SO piloting the stolen shuttle, Bodhi couldn’t rest. They were bound for the Rebel base, wherever that was. Cassian and Kay knew, Jyn too at a guess. But no-one was telling him. It was need to know and Bodhi didn’t need to know. He was just the messenger. And the message was gone now. What was left of Galen’s last wishes were with Jyn.

Galen was gone. The thought hit him like a blow. He hasn’t had time to think about it on Eadu and Jyn’s grief in the aftermath burnt so bright. What right did Bodhi have to mourn compared to a daughter’s loss?

So, he did the only thing he knew how to do. He worked. They had stolen an Imperial shuttle which Cassian assured him the Rebels wouldn’t shoot down as soon as they entered Rebel airspace. But still, Imperial procedures had back-ups for exactly this sort of event. Bodhi moved methodically around ship, rewiring and disconnecting all the redundant trackers.

He reaches to open another panel and found he couldn’t. All the strength had gone from his hands, from his body. He has been fighting fatigue for so long now, running on tanks so empty even caf couldn’t give him strength again. There were stims here somewhere. An emergency stash that wasn’t standard issue but all pilots carried anyway. He took a gamble on where it might be hidden and nearly tripped over Baze looking for them.

“You should rest.” Chirrut called softly, head tilted to follow Bodhi’s movements.

Bodhi shook his head, feeling foolish when he realised Chirrut wouldn’t see the gesture.

But Chirrut seemed to get it. “You have to rest. We all do.”

“Can’t.” Bodhi shot back, a little sharper than he intended. “There’s too much to do. Unless I disconnect all of these beacons, the Empire might track us.” Okay, there was a pretty remote chance. Someone would have to be very, very clever to know to activate the ping-backs in the emergency survival suits. But it was still a chance. And it was something useful Bodhi could do. What use was he otherwise?

Chirrut’s staff blocked his way as Bodhi turned to check the first aid kit for the stims. “And if you don’t rest, you’ll miss something.” The monk pointed out firmly. “It can wait, we have some hours yet. You can afford to sleep a little while.”

“I couldn’t sleep. Even if I wanted to.” Bodhi tried again. “I’m a solo short haul pilot. I don’t sleep while the ship’s in flight, I just don’t. I’ll be fine.” He moved to deliberately stepped over Chirrut’s staff but a gloved hand shot out to grab his ankle.

“Sleep, pilot.” Baze ordered gruffly, not opening his eyes from his sprawled position on the deck, holding Bodhi by one booted ankle. “Or I’ll knock you out and give us all some peace.”

Bodhi hissed, starting to fall as he reeled away. It wasn’t the shock of the sleeping heavy suddenly grabbing him. It was how much the grip around his ankle reminding him of Bor Gullet’s tentacles wrapping around his limbs.

Just before it burrowed its way into his mind.

And took him apart.

One shattered memory at a time.

Eyes squeezed tight shut and fists clenched, Bodhi felt himself beginning to seize, his breathing too fast and too shallow.

Hands caught his shoulder, arresting his fall. More hands, larger hands cupped his hip and the back of his head, lowering him to the floor. But they were distant sensation. Something he knew was there but didn’t really feel

Voices were talking to him, calling his name, telling him to breathe slowly. Someone opened his vest, and hand stroked down the crest of his chest.

“Clear your mind. Hear only the ship and my voice." It was Chirrut’s voice, soft and guiding. "Focus on the sound of the engine. Breathe with it. Breathe in as it cycles up and out on the down hum.”

Bodhi was vaguely aware that the monk was kneeling over him, Baze on his other side. That they were touching him, massaging circles over his inner wrists, echoing the rhythm of the ship, of his breathing.

How long since anyone had touched him? Other than to shove him down or drag him along? Not since that last embrace with Galen.

The fractured memories coalesced slowly.

_Eadu’s pouring rain hammering on the hull as Galen closed Bodhi’s hand around the datachip and held him tight. “Find Saw Gerrera.” Galen had whispered, cupping the back of Bodhi’s head. “He’ll know how to find her. They need to know. It has to be destroyed.” Galen had kissed him then, both of them tasting the salt. “Be brave. Listen to what’s in your heart. You can make it right. For both of us.”_

Tears streamed down Bodhi’s cheeks now, grief threatening to undo the fragile calm Chirrut and Baze had helped him claw back. He started to pull away but Baze held him, tucking something padded under his head. Bodhi felt the soft, still damp fur of Cassian’s jacket against his cheek. Why would that be there? Why would Cassian give him his jacket?

He wanted to ask but Chirrut was touching his face now; long, strong fingers tracing a line from his forehead to the tip of his nose. It was a gesture too soothing, too gentle to ignore and Bodhi found himself drifting, floating.

***

Cassian watched as the pilot’s breathing deepened, the tension in his frame starting to dissipate. “What did you do?”

Baze glared up at the captain, holding Bodhi protectively against his chest as he made himself comfortable on the deck once more. It was clear the heavy had no intention of letting Bodhi sleep alone.

Chirrut rose, tucking a lock of Bodhi’s hair back and squeezing Baze’s shoulder. Gesturing for Cassian to follow, he moved away from the pair, giving them peace to rest.

Cassian paced, annoyed by the monk’s silent calm. “How bad is his condition? If we can’t rely on him in the field-”

Chirrut pinned Cassian with a death stare that was all the more frightening for his pearlescent gaze. The monk’s usually gentle voice came out cold as ice and sharp as a blade. “That young man has been through far more than any of us knows. And he has suffered in silence. Bodhi Rook deserves our respect and care. Not our distrust. Remember that, Captain.” He turned on his heels and returned to perch on a crate, watching over the now sleeping pair on the deck.

Cassian turned to Jyn as she came down from the cockpit, half hoping for moral support.

Jyn’s eyes were just as hard as Chirrut’s. Still angry, still mourning. But when she saw fierce warrior Baze cradling Bodhi to his chest, the pair curled up like kittens under Chirrut’s protective guard, her expression softened.

“Chirrut’s right.” She muttered to Cassian. “He’s been through a lot. We all have. We should get what rest we can.” She headed down to where the trio sat, making herself comfortable on the crate opposite Chirrut.

Cassian watched them, unsure how he felt about this little knot of strangers who seemed rapidly to be becoming something more. Something closer. He wanted… he didn’t know what he wanted but in his heart, he knew he didn’t deserve it. Not after everything he’d done. He turned his back and headed up to the cockpit, leaving them to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a prompt on Rogue One Kink (http://rogueonekink.dreamwidth.org/)  
> Big thanks to yakalskovich. Enabler!


End file.
